ANN
Hello, my name is Ann. This is my story. In 1995 I moved to Gary, Indiana. It was almost winter, and it was cold. It was October. I moved into a nice house two weeks before my birthday. My birthday is October 14th and it was nice out there. The people were nice. The summer of 1996 started to school; I was going for my GED and taking a trade to become a CNA. Well, I was going to school and in June these people moved down the street from me on the corner. It was this lady, her five sons and two daughters. I watched as they moved in. Everybody said hi as I walked down the street going to school. I had to go down 2dh and they lived on the corner of 2dh. So, I’m walking and her sons flirting and talking, and you know that made me feel good: men in the neighborhood flirting and talking to me. I wasn’t dating anyone; I was just taking my time.
So anyway one of the sons, the fine one, of course, kept pursuing me. His name was Vel, I was ignoring him at first. He was nice, had a job. He worked at Olive Garden Italian restaurant. He followed me home to see where I stayed. He would come and sit on the front porch with me. I wouldn’t let him in. We would just talk and I told him I wanted to take my time and get to know him. Anyway, the rest of the summer we talked and had a nice time. He took me out and he was good to me. So by 1996, the fall was coming. We became boyfriend and girlfriend and we were having a nice time going together.
In 1997 the relationship started going bad. He started jiving, messing around with other women. He stopped coming home to help me. We were arguing so I told him if you don’t want to be here, if you ain’t gonna act right, if you ain’t gonna pay a bill, I’m about to put your ass out. So, anyway, I know he started acting right, I had to show him I’m no pushover. In 1997, that summer we started getting sick, I mean I would get a cold that was hard to get rid of, started having diarrhea, feeling bad. The next thing I noticed, he started breaking out with boils on his back and legs and I did too. I’m wondering what in the hell is this? I ain’t never had no boils on me, feeling bad, going through this. I asked him what’s going on. Did you give me something? No, baby, no, I don’t know what this is. I don’t know why we’re going through this. So I was wondering, did he give me something? Anyway we got better. The cold and boils stopped. Then I forgot about it. So by the winter of ’97 he started breaking out with boils again. I told him, you need to go to the doctor; hell, both of us need to go and get a checkup, get blood tests or something. Something ain’t right. No, no, baby, I went to the doctor last week. Well anyway, I knew Vel had seizures. So I searched all through his things, his clothes, suitcases he had at my house to see if there were any other medicines. He had no other medicines.
So that was ’98 and our relationship turned for the worse. He started disrespecting, not coming home for two or three days, stopped helping with the bills. By 1998 summer, I put him out. I passed my CNA and started working at this nursing home. Next thing I know, after working at the nursing home for about a year, I got sicker and sicker. I couldn’t get rid of colds, and boils started breaking out on me again, diarrhea real bad. I was sick at home, so my daughter called my mama, but I pulled it together to continue working.
Vel left town. He went down South to be with his baby’s mama and his kids down there. Well, next thing I knew the Gary Health Department started calling my grandmother asking her to have me call them. So in 1998 after me and Vel broke up, I got back with Fred, my boy’s daddy. He moved in with me. Like I said, the Health Department was calling my grandmother for me. I ignored them. I said what does the Health Department want with me? My house is clean, what do they want to talk to me about? I got scared. I told Fred something ain’t right. This mf gave me something. So Fred said, no, you are all right, you just go and talk to them. No, I’m not going down there. I don’t want to be bothered with them.
They kept calling, so she told my grandmother to tell me I better come or she will send the police after me. I sure enough got scared then, so Fred said I’ll go with you so we can go together. So we went. That’s when the lady told me that she had gotten a call from down South where Vel was. He had given the Health Department several names of women he had messed around with and they had gotten in touch with us. Some of us I guess, and she said it’s possible I might have this virus. I said no. I had a fit. You lying, I ain’t got nothing. I don’t believe that, so she asked to test me. I said no, you’re not testing me. I don’t believe that. So Fred said I should take the test and he would take the test, too. If so we’ve got to know. He took a test and I took a test. The test came back the next week or two and we went back to get the results and I had it and he had it. I had a fit. This ain’t happening to me. Oh no, this ain’t happening to me. I’m gonna get this mf. So, I thought me and Fred were going to fight because I gave it to him, and I didn’t know. He was a little upset, but he wasn’t mad at me to argue and fight. He said it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know. It would have been a different story if I had known and gave it to him on purpose, but I didn’t. After that I went and talked to Vel’s family to let them know what was going on and asked them did they know, and they pretended they didn’t know. I found out months later that they did know he had it all along and they just didn’t tell me or nobody. I was mad at them. I went back to them and told them they should have told me before we got together. I said that’s not right. I had a right to know. You should have told him to tell me.
By that time Vel was down South in the hospital where he died. His family went down there and brought his body back to Gary where they buried him. The doctor said he was too far gone and there was nothing they could do. The ordeal at the Health Department was a mess. Seven of us ladies were there because of Vel. Some wanted to know why. We were all there. Some of us recognized each others voices or faces. Some wanted to fight so I said fight each other for what? What we need to do is find him and beat his ass. We were told he had been to Michigan City, LA, South Carolina, and Ohio, and God knows only where else. How many other women had he infected? Did he know and not care what was infecting us because someone infected him—why didn’t he say something. Why didn’t he use a condom? Many questions, but no answers. Did he know and for how long? Did he not know? What was he thinking—his family? All of us women cared about him. Why? Why? Why?
I still couldn’t believe this was happening to me. The doctors put me on medicine, but I was hardheaded, and refused to take it. I couldn’t believe this was me. No, this ain’t happening; this is a bunch of jive. I’m not taking this medicine. I’ve never taken meds before and I’m not taking this stuff. I come home with it and I just didn’t take it. So I got worse and worse. The doctor put me in the hospital and they treated me and I got better. I came home and started taking the meds off and on, not every day regular like I should have. Then I got sick again and had to go back into the hospital. The doctor asked why are you being hardheaded? This is the truth; this is what it is. If you want to live, save your life, you better take your meds; if you don’t, you will die. So I began to believe him. I started taking my meds.
Next thing I knew, Fred is on drugs. I had to move from Gary. Fred stopped helping me with the bills. I asked him to help me, My doctor stopped me from working, Next thing the lights and gas were shut off. They were trying to get me social security. Me and the kids had to move with the utilities shut off and it was cold. We couldn’t stay there. It was cold and we could freeze to death. After that, we moved to Aurora.
I’m in much better shape taking my meds every day. The doctor told me if I take my meds every day we could get my virus down and I could go back to work. So hopefully this year, 2006, I pray every night the meds will get the virus down—undetected is what I’m shooting for. I will go back to work. I’m praying that by the middle to the end of the summer. I’m trying to get myself together. I’m scared as hell, but I pray to God every night. I’m making it the best I can with this situation. It’s rough. It’s hard to believe. I’m trying my best, going on about my life. Taking my meds every day, praying, hoping. . ..